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Correct Titles for Women
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1
2016/05/13 - 8:57am

Using a woman's first name to address her (whether you know her or not) has become commonplace.  I am not a fan. Addressing a woman as "Ms." with her LAST NAME or just simply "Madam" is correct when addressing a woman if she is someone who you do not know.  Miss and her LAST NAME is for girls or unmarried woman and, of course, Mrs. with her LAST NAME for a married woman.  I am a married woman.  I grind my teeth every time someone I do not know calls me by my first name or -even worse - "Miss" and my first name. Occasionally, I try to educate the "Miss Mary" offenders by letting them know that I am not a slave owner and never intend to be a slave owner. The term "Miss" is actually a shortened form of "Mistress".  In addition to the title for a girl or an unmarried woman, the term "Mistress" was used as a title of respect long ago for women in business (like a shop owner or teacher) or a slave owner or the wife of a slave owner.  It is a common misconception today, particularly in the south, that calling a woman "Miss" and her first name is respectful.  The white Southern aristocracy during the civil war era called their white women peers "Miss" and their LAST NAME or "Mrs", "Widow" and their LAST NAME.  It was only the SLAVES who used "Miss" and the woman's first name.  Margaret Mitchell got it right in her book "Gone with the Wind".  Scarlett O'Hara's suitors called her "Miss O'Hara". It was only the slaves who called her "Miss Scarlett".  I admit that I am on the road to becoming a fossil, but I was taught that you used a woman's title and last name until such time as she gave you permission to call her by her first name.   And since I have had a career in business and been married for decades I enjoy the respect of being called either "Ms." or "Mrs" with my last name.  I've earned it!

EmmettRedd
859 Posts
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2
2016/05/13 - 10:55am

Americanthroughandthro,

Welcome.

What I am about to write might not apply to you, but this old fossil uses Miss [LastName] to address a woman of whom I do not know marital status. My reason for this is that I have less negative reaction using Miss than when using Ms.

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3
2016/05/13 - 12:09pm

I wouldn't mind Miss and my last name...it's really hard most of the time to tell if someone is saying Miss or Ms. anyway.  Thanks for responding.

Ron Draney
721 Posts
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4
2016/05/13 - 1:18pm

I don't know where he picked up the habit (and I'm sure he was never a slave), but Tiny Tim always addressed and even referred to women as "Miss" plus first name. Even his own wife was "Miss Vicky".

Tiny was incredibly formal and chivalrous his entire life; there's a YouTube clip of him on "Hollywood Palace" being interviewed by Bing Crosby, who deflects the too-formal address "Mr Crosby" by asking him to call him "Bing". Even with explicit permission, he finds himself unable to be any more informal with his admitted hero than "Mr Bing", which draws a laugh from the audience.

Guest
5
2016/05/14 - 2:02am

Going on a tangent, once where I worked, a person who maintained the vending machines liked to write lots of instructions on the machines, and sign them 'vendor mistress.'  She seemed pretty serious about it.  Nobody laughed.  My reaction was  it was not right for many reasons.  But who's to say.  Maybe that's her official job title.  Maybe she was set up by her boss for laugh. Maybe it was a totally appropreate job title. 

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