Correcting Others’ Grammar

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hi, Martha. This is Renee from Madison, Wisconsin.

Hi, Renee. Welcome.

Hi, Renee. It’s Grant here.

Hi, Grant.

What’s up?

What’s happening?

Well, I have a story to share from a friend that I have a question about.

Okay, from a friend.

Yes.

Is this friend in air quotes, or is it actually from you when you’re just hiding it?

No, it’s a real friend.

I have two friends at work with whom I share grammar, punctuation, word usage issues.

And she wrote to the two of us recently and said, so here’s what happened to me.

I was at my daughter’s parent-teacher conferences, and while I’m waiting in line to get in, I noticed a large poster in the room, laminated, and it said, things you’re thankful for.

Your.

Y-O-U-R.

Oh, really?

Yes.

Laminated?

Yes.

Oh.

Did it have a gold star? Smiley face?

So I think she followed your rules, right?

So she didn’t say, hey, everybody, look, the teacher made a mistake.

She waited until it was her turn, got up to talk to the teacher about her daughter and said, oh, by the way, that poster over there is wrong.

And the teacher said, oh, and moved on.

Oh.

Yes.

So my friend wrote and said, oh, great, two problems.

Now I’m that parent.

Yes.

Corrected the teacher.

And secondly, I don’t think she knew what was wrong.

Oh, my.

Are you sure?

Oh, my.

She didn’t give the impression of saying, you know, because she didn’t say, oh, I’m so embarrassed. Oh, how could I do that? Oh, thanks for pointing that out.

Nothing. Just, wow.

My question is, did she do the right thing?

You know, she, right, right.

I know the rules. I’m so proud.

I know the rules, right? She was right.

She thought it mattered because this is her child’s teacher.

Right.

And she did it one-on-one in private.

One-on-one.

Yeah, that was going to be my question.

Yeah.

Your, Y-O-U-R, thankful for.

Definitely wrong.

Let’s just get that out of the way.

You’re right. Your friend is right. That’s definitely wrong.

No doubt about it. No question.

Even here where we’re permissive wafflers.

Not always, but you’re right. Yes, you are right.

Let’s just not presume that the teacher’s a moron and didn’t know the truth.

Let’s give her the benefit of the doubt.

Can we? I don’t know if we can.

I can.

Her response was one word, and she didn’t say, I don’t see what you mean.

That is definitely correct.

So she wasn’t curious.

She’s a teacher.

How many kids does she have in her class? 26?

She might have been moving along.

Okay, here’s a complicating fact.

Okay.

It was 4K.

4K.

What do you mean 4K?

4-year-old kindergarten.

4-year-old kindergarten.

Yes.

Maybe not all states have that, but we have a 4-year-old kindergarten here.

Oh, I see.

Not all states do.

That’s news to me.

And that is the precursor to the regular five-year-old kindergarten.

So probably the little kids couldn’t even contest that, right?

I mean, she’s indoctrinating those kids with incorrect information.

No, no, no, no, no.

You make it sound malicious and willful.

It isn’t.

No, no.

Here, let me tell you a different story.

I have a child in kindergarten as well.

I’ve been in his classroom numerous times for Family Fridays and other kinds of things.

The room is covered, covered in language, floor to ceiling, even on the ceiling, even on the floor, written things everywhere, numbers, words, sentences, alphabets, you name it.

There are mistakes there.

My wife and I, and she’s a linguist and lexicographer as well, zipped our lips and haven’t said a word to my son’s teacher.

Part because we don’t want to be those parents, but also because the magnitude of the work of one woman with no teacher’s aides handling 26 kids means her high volume throughput is going to have the occasional error in it.

And we are allowing for her humanity and saying, okay, she’s got a mistake.

The next time she reads this to the kids, she’s bound to catch it and bound to pencil in a fix.

And so I don’t want to assume that your friend’s child’s teacher, just because she gave a one-word monosyllabic response, didn’t know the truth.

I don’t think we have enough information to say that.

Well, that’s a good point.

We don’t know from that one word.

I mean, it could have been being incurious.

It could have been irritation.

She could have been distracted.

She could have any number of things.

I propose she could have just been embarrassed.

She could have been embarrassed.

You know what? And I’d love to find out if it was changed later.

Is there a way to be helpful here?

Is there a way to pile on compliments and then say, you know, by the way, you might want to change that?

Or are you just saying, just let it go?

Or should she, next time she sees her, say, you know, I felt like I embarrassed you.

I’m really sorry.

I know that that was just a minor issue.

That’s a thought.

You know what? That opens a new door, doesn’t it, for further help.

And the teacher might say, oh, yeah, you know what? When I wrote that, I had the cold, but I couldn’t find a substitute, and so I just had to come in that day.

She might even have a backstory.

Or she might say, you know what? Thank you for pointing that out.

I need some help in the classroom.

Do you want to come join us?

Yeah, we volunteer.

There’s all of these opportunities to strengthen that relationship if she feels like it’s been weakened.

Well, I like that idea of turning it into an opportunity rather than a confrontation.

I mean, it sounds like she got halfway there, but maybe she could get a little farther along.

You just don’t know until it comes out of your mouth how it’s going to be received, right?

I’ve been there.

Well, I do want to thank you guys for the rules.

I have to say I have learned from them.

I try to execute, but you know what? It’s a work in progress.

You mean, are you talking about correcting people’s grammar?

Oh, absolutely.

-huh.

Oh, I have made every one of those.

Let’s say I’ve learned from negative example of myself.

Oh, really?

Join the club.

Yeah.

We’re all there, yeah.

Yeah, well, I think it’s, you know, what’s the larger purpose?

Right, right.

Well, Renee, thanks for calling.

I think this is a really interesting question.

I run at this all the time, right?

Yeah, yeah.

Renee, we’re going to get so much email about this.

Yeah, I would like to hear opinions on either side.

We’ve all been here.

Thank you so much, Renee.

I really appreciate it.

Thanks, guys.

Take care now.

Take care.

Bye-bye.

We know you’ve got a story about wanting to correct someone.

Maybe you did.

Maybe you didn’t.

How’d that go?

877-929-9673 or email words@waywordradio.org.