A most lovely actress was on TV. She talked about how lucky she was, how grateful about everything. Soon she became self-entranced on an ego roller coaster, eyes shut tight holding back tears even as she priestessly poured forth mini sermons of how a glamorous person like herself should be so humble and grateful to the max. By the end of it, though in the whole maybe no more than 5 minutes, the other people sat stunt how the air had been sucked dry, no ounce of gratefulness left in the room for any of them to share.
This phenomenon is not rare– a show of absolute self humbleness and heartfelt confessions that is also simultaneously an explosive fireworks show of easy-earned virtues, and self-adorations, and voracious worship-saintly-me-how-can-you-not greeds, and greed for , no less, maximum gratefulness itself.
So, the question, is there a word for it ?
Pride, indeed, and from the Ultimate Operating Manual of Life.
A curious kind of pride though, the pride of one’s superior Humbleness. And this is backed up by the fierce hoarding of , humbleness’s very gold standard kind of currency, Gratefulness.
Obviously, all this hoarding sends you back to the Manual, there to contemplate another of the magnificent seven, Greed.
To complicate matter further, all these manifestations are while the person is invariably unaware, a kind of qualification for “temporary insanity” –perhaps a magnificent eighth, “The sin of Self-unaware” ? (Except can you call it a sin when a person staggers in from 10 days in the desert who throws all table manners to the wind? Such is the kind of hunger for personal glory that is endemic in our culture. )
Dick, looks like I am back to square one, still with a well observed phenomenon yet unnamed.
A person with pride to this degree can be proud of anything about himself whether it has a nugget of truth or is totally fabricated. So if he can demonstrate any humility at all, it becomes a source of pride. This is not really unusual.
It reminds me of the man who said, “I have found the secret of being successful. Sincerety. And if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.”
So, the question, is there a word for it ?
No, but there is a phrase. Dependent Personality Disorder
Of all the problems in the DSM, personality disorders are among the most misdiagnosed, and DPD may be the worst in that respect. so if you use this term, you’re probably going to be challenged. Kissass syndrome, however, is less likely to involve you in counterproductive side issues.
I didn’t hear the spiel by the lovely actress RobertB heard, so I can’t speak to that. However, I see things from a different angle.
It seems to me that you folks are being more cynical about the lady than you need to be. Being grateful is a healthy thing, and it’s vital to fighting off depression. I hesitate to cite the Bible, for I’m not usually that kind of guy, but I’m told the Bible instructs us to be grateful for each new day. A woman who was born beautiful cannot be proud of that; it’s an accident of birth. All she can do is be grateful for her genes.
I’ve known some religious folks such as my late sister-in-law (a great gal,) who regard all good things as blessings, including their own achievements as well as simple dumb luck. Even so, I don’t think that’s pride.
You can volley the urbandictionary.com word “humblebrag” back and forth if you like, but I’m not sure that’s valid either.
Very true , all the things you said. ‘Cynical’ – no contest , your Honor.
But you might sometimes hear this complaint about certain personality type: You are sucking up all of the air, nobody can even breathe around you! And that can happen while the person is completely nice and humble and well meaning.
The word you offer comes very close, only not quite capture that grabbing, hoarding quality that I find so fascinating. But very close.
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